Everyone thinks that we need to be leaders. Grad schools like that. Mom likes that. Our fellow students like that. Well, fuck that. Not everyone can be a leader. Leaders need followers. And I am a follower. I am not ashamed and I plan on putting that on my resume.
I will soon drop out of college to become a hermit in the woods. Why the woods, you ask? Because I think that it’s a more dignified housing option than returning to the Nest. I mean, that’s just embarassing. Forest-dwellers are edgy and command respect…I guess. Well, at least it will give people something to talk about. “Hey, did you hear about that Kathryn McDonald girl dropping out of college to live in the woods?” “Yeah. Original.”
I’ll be a new kind of forest-dweller. The kind who uses shampoo, eyeliner, and cooks Ramen noodles over an open fire. I’ll write mediocre poetry about my broken heart and somehow incorporate twigs and leaves into the whole thing.
So I’ll basically be the same person I am now, except that I’ll live among the animals and won’t have any friends. Because I am an animal. You are, too.
Empty threats.
A man on the Discovery Channel is looking for the Holy Grail.
And I’m a monkey’s uncle.
“I desire to perish, and yet I ask health;
I love another, and thus I hate myself” – Sir Thomas Wyatt the Elder
I couldn’t help but document some of these cryptic inscriptions on a desk in the library today. Yeah. I giggled.
“DOO DOO.”
“who wants a body massage? -your mom bitch”
“4/20″
“GET HIGH AND RULE THE WORLD”
-”SAEs suck big cock and take it in the ass”
“KA= FLAMERS”
“Hobo Blood”
“indian skull of diarrhea (1821 style)”
“oohh you touch my tra lala. oooohh my ding ding dong”
“quit writing on the library”
“Everyone who writes on this desk (excluding ) (including) me is a faggot.“
Today I was extremely bored and without a car. So I perused through some of my Xanga entries from the 10th grade.
Dancinangel2234 whats up (8:35:56 PM):
MissKatt1190 i look the in mirror and just don’t like what i see (8:36:31 PM):
MissKatt1190 i am fat (8:36:33 PM):
MissKatt1190 and sad (8:36:34 PM):
MissKatt1190 i look at magazines and want to cry (8:36:46 PM):
MissKatt1190 my boyfriend is the one, but he just HATES ME (8:37:08 PM):
MissKatt1190 like, he goes out clubbin with other girls (8:37:25 PM):
MissKatt1190 and doesn’t call me (8:37:33 PM):
MissKatt1190 so i end up making a stew out of my tears, along with vegetables and chicken and noodles (8:38:46 PM):
MissKatt1190 and i eat the soup (8:38:51 PM):
MissKatt1190 and i cry even more (8:39:00 PM):
MissKatt1190 and i make my boyfriend eat the soup. (8:39:11 PM):
I am home and everything is simple. Fun times require a bit of driving, though. 15 minutes worth. That is okay. I enjoy driving. I can listen to good music. There is nostalgia and blah, blah, blah. Getting drunk with some bitches I went to high school with at house parties. Yeah. This is the most basic unit of human existence, I think. This place is so basic. I don’t love it. Don’t hate it. But there’s a predictable rhythm to it and that’s something.
Broke into this building in Pass Christian a couple of weeks ago with some chums. It’s been abandoned for years. Lovely waterfront property. It belonged to the Baptists. They did holy things there. We threw air conditioning units off the roof and smoked in the parking lot.
My job makes me hate people so much.
Is this how the rest of my life will be? Is this the “real world”? My job is going to suck?
I have been desperately seeking employment in the 228 for a whole week. No success. I am going to start wearing a barrel like they do in cartoons when they lose all of their money. But where would I find a barrel? It seems that they are as elusive as jobs these days. A catfish restauant? Cracker Barrel?
Coming soon to a tailgate near you.
While you’re at it, go to McDonald’s and buy some apple slices.
