Victoria’s Secret Troll Shoes

I have a pair of black flats with little mirrors on them. I’d never thought anything of it, until my friend asked me what they were for. I don’t know. Maybe to give everyone a view of what’s underneath my skirt? Whoever designed them must have been a troll. lolol

Did you hear about theVictoria’s Secret Troll Shoes? Yeah. Me neither. But you know what? My interest in the show would increase exponentially if they DID feature such an item.

“Play with babies and you’ll end up washing diapers!” -Y Tu Mama Tambien

Moving Out

One of the most beautiful JFP horoscopes I have ever read, circa November 2009-ish:

Capricorn: When Dante was nine years old, long before he became one of Italy’s supreme poets, he fell in love with Beatrice, an eight-year old girl he fell in love with at a May Day party. They never had a close relationship. In the years after their initial encounter, they met infrequently and both eventually married other people. But Beatrice played a crucial role throughout Dante’s life, although she died at the age of 24. She was not just his muse, but also his “beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation.” Dante even wrote her into his “Divine Comedy” in the role of a guide. Is there any person or influence in your life equivalent to Beatrice? Any once-upon-a-timeblessing that might be ready to give you the fullness of the gifts it has been waiting all this time to deliver?

I had that taped to my desk. Since it’s the end of the year, I think I’m just going to throw it away. It’s really yellow now.

Letter to a Dbag

You know what? I’m glad we don’t talk anymore. You know why? Because you watch this shit every weekend.

And that CD you made me sucked ass. Green Day? Really? I didn’t even like them in 2005 when they were actually relevant.

telefono nuevo

My phone just mixed me a drink, made me a playlist, played me in air hockey, and told me what to make for dinner.

Way to make me feel like an underachiever, Iphone.

It’s Kara’s Birthday. don’t judge.

The ABCs, the 1,2, me’s

December __>January nights

So selfishly

We baked ourselves like sultans, sweating indoors

Eating spoonfuls of custard pie.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KARA”…”and many more, like a whore”

fire

I enjoy unearthing  layers of myself every once in a while. My first night home for break, I found the remnants of some coffee flavored chapstick I used last year. It reminded me of secrets. I smiled. Then I felt my stomach sink.

Heartbreak can be refreshing. It makes you feel alive. Everyone needs a good wound every once in a while. It’s like starting a fire. It keeps you warm for a while, but it does not last forever. You’ve got to put it out when the time is right. But sometimes I mourn for the forests I’ve burned down.

Everyone also needs a good November fire. November and December are for reminiscing. Summer’s playful terrain closes and the cold draws us inside. Those November fires unite us for a little bit, and keep us warm.

follow the leader

Everyone thinks that we need to be leaders. Grad schools like that. Mom likes that. Our fellow students like that. Well, fuck that. Not everyone can be a leader. Leaders need followers. And I am a follower. I am not ashamed and I plan on putting that on my resume.

 

wild thang

I will soon drop out of college to become a hermit in the woods. Why the woods, you ask? Because I think that it’s a more dignified housing option than returning to the Nest. I mean, that’s just embarassing. Forest-dwellers are edgy and command respect…I guess. Well, at least it will give people something to talk about. “Hey, did you hear about that Kathryn McDonald girl dropping out of college to live in the woods?” “Yeah. Original.”

I’ll be a new kind of forest-dweller. The kind who uses shampoo, eyeliner, and cooks Ramen noodles over an open fire. I’ll write mediocre poetry about my broken heart and somehow incorporate twigs and leaves into the whole thing.

 So I’ll basically be the same person I am now, except that I’ll live among the animals and won’t have any friends. Because I am an animal. You are, too.

Empty threats.

A man on the Discovery Channel is looking for the Holy Grail.

And I’m a monkey’s uncle.